I felt a bit triggered.
All of sudden I saw what I was painting: Wisdom.
The feeling of wisdom entered my body and was the answer to my frustration.
Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time on my femininity.
The softness of my body, my sensuality, my desire for more romance, the expression of the feminine in my paintings.
Allowing the feminine brings me closer to myself, beyond the mental ideas.
Beyond the shame I feel when I expose the feminine.
Below I show the original version of a painting, a painting that no longer exists, because I covered her with more paint and changed the expression.
Fortunately I still have a photo of the original, so I can have her beautifully printed on plexiglass or aluminium.
In all sizes, matte or glossy.
I now dare to admit that I think she is beautiful.
Send me an email if you want to order a print.
And it is also possible to order prints of this painting:
This painting has been standing in a corner for a long time, because I didn't know how to harmonize the colors of the lower half with those of the upper part.
Apparently, I needed to align my human side even more with my "higher self" before I was able to do so.
Listening to my deeper, higher self and embodying her is part of my life's mission, my destiny.
The little owl on her shoulder and the bird appeared on their own.
When I make a new painting, I don't start with a plan.
I apply paint to the canvas and see what forms appear.
It feels like a cooperation between the shapes and colours and me.
Although this time I was surprised by the result, I recognized it.
It expresses my need to turn inward.
"Reflecting on the moon" is the name of the painting.
I cherish my melancholy self on this quiet Sunday in August.
A deeper voice inside me is heard in whispered tone.
I want to give her space and listen deeply to her needs, her wants.
Will she hear my welcome?
‘This is it’, she says.
It was warm in Spain and in the afternoon I stayed inside to paint.
Since I am an expressive painter I never know exactly what will happen.
I started with earthly colors, but during the week a fierce energy took over.
The water, and the blue of the sky appeared on the canvas.
Here is the result.
She will have a spot at the entrance of the house.
I look forward to being welcomed by her the next time I go to Spain.
This is the underpainting for the final version.
Fortunately I took a photograph.
I will have a print of the image made on canvas, so that I can have her near...
In the waiting room of a chiropractor who occasionally straightens my hips, my gaze fell on a local newspaper and I was surprised that I could read the letters without difficulty.
They were larger and darker than those of the national newspaper I was subscribed to.
Within a few days I had switched the subscriptions.
And now, while having a cup of coffee, I enjoy absorbing the down to earth articles that I am reading with more ease.
I also feel how hard it has been for me to just follow the headlines.
How I had blamed myself for not reading more, as if I were disinterested and superficial.
This touches me…
As I get older, I have more often the feeling that I'm busy.
The longing for silence grows.
Today I had a quiet day with a program that left room to just run errands, drink coffee and enjoy music that I like.
And then, finally, I found the joy of starting a few new paintings.
For my thinking mind, painting is not so important.
But my inner being longs to reveal herself by splashing paint in freedom.
I welcome this creative power inside myself.
It is a desire to express my deeper motives, searching for form.
I am sitting on the terrace of my house in Spain.
The wind blows through my hair and I listen to the roar of the ocean.
Such a beautiful place from where I can see how great the forces are between the approaching waves and the sand of the beach.
My body enjoys looking at the white foam of the surf.
The sun is shining brightly.
I feel part of the mystery.
The mystery that cannot be captured in words or in a picture.
Apparently all I have to do is to enjoy it
Halfway through my book Wholeness Complete, I wrote about a letter I composed to the enlightened being within myself.
In that letter I discovered a hungry being inside me that was never satisfied with the love she received and who always wanted more.
I used to judge myself for this.
In the meantime it is clear to me that love is eternal and that we always feel the need for the fulfillment of this love.
Our longings are welcome.
They show us the way.