After what I wrote yesterday I want to add:
...then we will know in our hearts in which direction we want to proceed…
Now that we have passed the date of December 21th I feel that our commotion had to do with the birthing of feminine consciousness.
In ever clearer ways we will know what is meant when we talk about this way of being.
We have been training for such a long time to learn how to evade the trap of being entangled in the conflicts of duality!
Because, as soon as we resist something, we recreate the same.
There is an intelligence that is infinitely grander than our small mind.
We may entrust our troubled thinking mind to her and assume that life will search for a solution we cannot contrive yet.
This asks for surrender.
Life will flow through us endlessly then.
This Life is always here.
When we were born we had to pass through a very small hole.
I still have a tendency to shrink when I am confronted with time.
I then push my spirit out of my body.
That feels like being in a hurry, even when I have plenty of time.
I am learning to remain in the quietness and warmth that I feel before the thought of time arises.
I notice that part of the time I am occupied with the acceptance of my shadow.
Our shadow is not our bad side, but it is the part of us that has been distorted in the course of time, through our history, through society, through our culture.
She shows herself in an indirect manner and asks to be loved and embraced unconditionally, so that we can live our unique selves in an ever fuller and complete manner.
Now that I have more time for myself I feel the wish to work with people again, in a new way.
I ask the Unseen what is the Highest Dream that wants to be realized and I wait in silence for the answer.
I am surprised by the words that arise in me and I feel touched by the simplicity of the response:
Your Highest Dream is to be decided by you.
We give the energy and the power for the manifestation of your dream.
I am always surprised to hear that it is me who decides.
When I ask myself what I want, I know the answer: I want to work one day a week and offer consultations to people who wish to find a new perspective on an aspect of their life where they have the feeling they are stuck.
I feel joy about the decision and I have more clarity about the direction of my life.
I am weaving.
I weave with threads of humbleness around my shortcomings.
With every thread I weave I let go of my tendency towards perfection.
The freedom that arises is the nectar flowing through.
There are holes in the fabric and lumps and loose endings.
I just take it lightly and enjoy letting go.
There is a text on the desktop of my computer.
It says:
Freedom is the servant of love
Love is a facet of freedom.
I have read those words in a book and they touch me profoundly.
They affect me in a place where my intellect does not understand, but my feeling wants to comprehend deeper.
So I leave the text a little while longer on the screen of my desktop.
I bless my humanness.
I bless the mistakes I make, the terror I sometimes feel.
I love to be human, imperfect.
I bless the me who does not deserve to be judged.
Not in the least.
Me she live in great exuberance.
Not tied by laws, by rules on how to be, how to behave.
Not tied by what she has done wrong.
I love my humanness.
When we want to feel who we are it is not necessary to stop our thinking, but to bring a halt to our reaction to our thinking and to stop interpreting the thoughts that arise inside ourselves.
We no longer give our thoughts a life of their own and return to the openness of a more silent state of being instead.
For me this is similar to what I feel when I say: “Thy will be done”.
When I ask joy what she wants, my movements slow down.
I stop being hurried by thoughts about what I need to do.
I begin to enjoy a slow flow and find time to be touched by whatever happens.
When I ask joy what she wants, I know which colors to wear and how I can see beauty all around me.
When I ask joy what she wants.