Joos's journal

25-05-2010

Transition

I notice during the long flight to the U.S. that I not only bring my brand new red suitcase, but also my emotional luggage, that is to say, my reaction to the people at home.
In the hotel room with a view on the hills of New Mexico I am wide-awake in the middle of the night. This has to do with the eight hours time-difference.
I need a lot of creativity to find a way to spend these hours in a pleasant way.
Fortunately I have a pen and a writing pad.
I meditate a bit and, with my mind as empty as possible, I try to analyze my problem of not really being here.
To find out more about my condition I doodle with a pen on a paper and I see that it has to do with pure chaos.
Now it is clear to me that I do need to resolve something.
Therefore I draw a picture of a more balanced state: A sacred space with just me in it and a lighted candle.
This helps.

06-05-2010

Conversation with the rock

While I am sitting next to the rock that protects our house against the wind I decide to ask the rock to talk to me.
I hear the chirps of birds and the sound of breaking waves, but the rock is silent.
She has closed up and I get the feeling that my integrity is being questioned.
In order for me to write about what the rock has to say to me, a deeper integrity is needed.
I tune in again and listen.
Never have I had my ear this close to the rock.
I had abandoned the courage to ever be able to listen to what the rock had to tell me.
The rock has been involved in all kinds of happenings.
Once she was a horizontal layer of the earth and now she is almost vertical.
From being the ground under our feet she has become the protector of our house against too much wind.
She is so beautiful.
That’s what I would like to say to the rock.
The warmth of the sun of the day still radiates from her.
I hear a tone similar to the sound of insects. This may be the reflection of the sound of the sea against the rock, but also something new.
It may be something the rock herself wants to tell me.
I feel my small self near the big miracle of this rock.
I feel that it is important as a human not to just write a story about this, because this kind of self centeredness is precisely what is keeping us apart.
I feel the necessity to grow in love in order to be worthy of the trust of the rock.
Apparently the rock is telling me about the earth having been exploited by man.
About the feeling of having been taken for granted by humans, without true attending.
I want to ask the rock to forgive me and mankind, but at the same time I know that as far as I am concerned I have some way to go before I am worthy of the trust of the rock.
This has been the first step.

04-05-2010

Following the flow of life

Sometimes life pushes a bit.
This time it was a big poke.
What’s going on?
The Lynn Andrews Mystery school has planned a four day stay in the U.S. twice a year.
I had totally put aside the idea of attending the first gathering at the end of May.
There were many reasons for this decision:
Visiting the U.S. twice a year is too luxurious, I cannot be missed at home, I want to be present at all the dates of the tennis competition.
The final registration date for the gathering was three weeks ago.
All of a sudden I got restless. My inner self wanted to attend.
Within two days everything was arranged.
I will go.

04-04-2010

Venus

Every evening after sunset, Venus appears in the sky as a bright star.
When I look again she also, just like the sun, has disappeared behind the horizon.
The lamps inside are lit, we see the latest news on television while at any moment the mystery is taking place.

01-04-2010

White Thursday

In Holland the children still go to school, while in Spain everybody is celebrating the "Semana Santa", the week before Easter.
The waves of the ocean quietly roll in an everlasting encounter with the earth.
The orange sun disappears behind the horizon, lighting the skies with a golden glow.
A seagull passes our window.
Why am I here?
I am here.

 

01-03-2010

School

I have entered a new school.
A school where we learn to integrate the mystery into our lives.
It took some time for me to get used to the new program, because of the many tasks we have to do.
Yet I wanted to have the discipline to comply with the demands of the school. Because of this I felt a bit chaotic.
Then I decided that my inner composure is more important than the circumstances life brings me.
That’s how I am succeeding in integrating my own rhythm of life with all the changes.

14-02-2010

The Beloved has many forms

We flew back to Holland a few days ago.
Since I have a problem with the writing program on my computer I spend a lot of time trying to solve this.
However, up till now, unsuccesfull.
On my desk I have the book Burning questions by Isaac Shapiro and Annie Williams.
Reading the book and experiencing what is written is a splendid spiritual practise while I am waiting for the installing and de-installing of programs on my computer.
The most beautiful sentence in the book:

We can receive our experience as the Beloved.

 

02-02-2010

The wind

Every day we walk for an hour on the beach. We turn at the little guard house.
Today I doubted whether I would go, because the wind was strong. It blew from the South East; in Spain they name this type of wind Levante.
I saw some brown, gentle horses grazing on the grass that grows on the beach. This view invited me to come and be there too.
Going was easy, the wind kind of made me fly.
After turning around the sand blew in my face and the wind pushed me almost into the water. I saw the sun smile gently, the waves of the ocean were very near.
It was like swimming against the stream: One wonders whether one will ever move forward.
On the way out I had seen some stones that could be used to fortify the lowest steps of the stairs that lead from our house to the beach. The storm had loosened the sand underneath the rock that makes up one of these steps.
On the way home the stones were still in the same place and I picked them up. Having one in each hand made me heavier and lighter at the same time, because they made me forget about the storm.
I silently laid them down in the sand at the bottom of the stairs. They will be there until they are used to fortify the lowest step of the stairs that lead towards the beach.

02-01-2010

The new year

Writing
Maybe the angel of inspiration will come and sit on my shoulder if I just start moving my pen on the paper, while I wait for what’s to come.
I feel peaceful, even though there is a succession of days that either seem to be a Sunday or are a Sunday.
Evidently it is time to turn deeply into myself, with little distraction from the outside, just like the flower bulbs in the garden are hibernating under a layer of snow. Their roots will enter the earth abundantly as soon as the rays of the sun are a bit stronger, and new life will be formed, which eventually will show itself in the miraculous beauty of a flower.
I wish for everyone who reads this that the good things that life has in store for you will unfold in 2010!

30-12-2009

Full moon

On the 31th of December 2009 the moon will be full. From that date the portal towards the energy of Love will be open.
Time to leave behind old patterns that keep us separated from this abundant Energy.

In our bodies we can feel the light of our soul that connects us to the Divine.
The intent of wanting to experience this union + a receptive attitude are enough to unite body and soul and to live this truth.